It Ends with Us

                                                             

It Ends with Us 

by Colleen Hoover

SPOILER-FREE REVIEW

"There's no such thing as bad people. We're all just people who sometimes do bad things".

I had seen this book multiple times on Booktok, and I had put it on my list - which is a long list of thrillers and noir novels - but what made me finally begin reading was the first page of the book, its dedication: "For my father, who tried his very best not to be his worst. And for my mother, who made sure we never saw him at his worst". It clicked something on me.

I had read Colleen Hoover before, starting with Verity, but I knew she was a romance author. I thought this was a romance book, and let me warn you, it is not. If you want to read a beautiful, funny, romantic novel and fall in love with their relationship, this will not be it. Yes, it has romantic bits. It has comedy and sensual chapters. But this is also a horror novel in a human way.

The book possesses some strong subjects which are physical, psychological, and sexual abuse. It also covers homelessness and slightly describes murder. This is what I mean by horror. Some scenes are scary. They are raw. Trust me, you will cry. You will feel for the characters. I am trying to be brief as I can be, but if you are considering reading it, it is my duty to warn about possible triggers.

It skips some weeks and even months between chapters, but every impactful and interesting moment is described. I love how the author really gives you a description of every important character's background. This is crucial for knowing why they act the way they do and the decisions they make. 

It Ends with Us is very hard to put down. I read it the first time in the morning and ended my nights with it. It involves you emotionally from the first conversation the main characters have and you will find yourself saying "just one more chapter...".

You will laugh. You will feel embarrassed. You will cry. You will get excited. Your heart will break. You will learn about the darkness of domestic abuse. You will realize how easy it is to judge from the outside and how hard it is to leave from the inside. You will feel rage. Many times you will want to jump inside the lines. 

But above all, you will not regret this book. 

The world is a dangerous place and sometimes the people you are most scared to find are the people closest to you. This book will teach you that lesson. Abuse, in any way or form, is not something easy to express. Books are an escape from reality but It Ends with Us is reality. It is what happens behind closed doors. So whenever you feel ready to digest this book, please do it. Learn about it. Put yourself in Lily's shoes. Feel with her. I promise you will gain a lot.

"My whole life, I knew exactly what I'd do if a man ever treated me the way my father treated my mother. It was simple. I would leave and it would never happen again. But I didn't leave. And now, here I am with bruises and cuts on my body at the hands of the man who is supposed to love me. At the hands of my own husband. And still, I'm trying to justify what happened."

THE DEEP REVIEW - CONTAINS SPOILERS

Not long ago, I was discussing with my mother this very same topic - domestic abuse. I am very thankful and appreciative of the fact that we have never gone through it. Our biggest questions are why abused men and women accept it and how they endure it. We promised to each other we shall never ever accept it. She made me promise that I would leave a man the second he put his hand on me. But I did not have to promise it, it is a fact. 

After reading this book, I perceived something very important was missing from our conversation and it was the fact that we did not ask each other why the abusers do it. We were simple to wonder why their partners accept it and not why they put their hands on them. Lily, at the hands of Colleen Hoover, made me realize that. This is only one of the many things this book has made me learn.  I now know and this is huge for me; it made me empathetic towards people in this situation. It is why I repeat that by reading this book, you gain a lot.

I fell in love with Ryle after his first conversation with Lily. I am an aspiring doctor and I thought about how a book with a medical love interest was the most perfect thing I could find. I craved for the moments where they showed Ryle as much as Lily craved seeing him. I enjoyed the way Ryle thought and I felt with Lily all that emotion. He was so intelligent, driven, and charismatic. But I also learned about Atlas in the first part of the book. I loved him as well. Atlas was mature and funny, he was Lily's perfect match. I began growing as confused as Lily was between these two characters and their personalities. I could not point a finger at which one was better and which one I liked more learning about.

We also began learning, at the same time we learned about her first love, the domestic abuse that ruled in her home. I cried a lot. It's at that moment where books stop being simple words piled up together and they become a moment. They become reality. You envision them. You wish to join and make it stop. 

Lily's relationship with Ryle flourishes smoothly and one night, after a few glasses of wine, we are shown Ryle's true character. He pushes her after feeling rage. I was extremely surprised, and yet, I cannot begin to imagine how terrified she was. She made him promise he would never do it again, and I did not believe him. Deep down, she did not either. 

Every single moment from that on, I feared the presence of Ryle. I was scared of what his next move would be. Every single word he spoke and action he performed made me want to get Lily out of the situation as soon as possible. I knew it would happen again, and shortly after, it did. What truly shocked me was how comparable the situations were between Lily's parents and her own marriage. It starts slow and quickly escalates, devastating everything in its path.

I relate to Lily in many ways and this was also something that grew me attached to the story. I proudly say I also am forgiving and driven. We have seen and lived through many situations we wish we had not been a part of and they stick with us, even years later. But we are only human. Me as an 18-year-old girl, Lily as many different women from very different backgrounds, races, ages, sexual preferences, and more. Lily Bloom is not only the red-haired young adult from Plethora, Maine we believe she is. Lily Bloom is everywhere behind closed doors. She is a teacher, an engineer, a doctor, a housewife. She is a girl just married, and a woman in a 40-year-old marriage. She speaks all languages. Lily Bloom is also a man or is non-binary. 

A conversation that really stuck with me was Lily's conversation with her mom, when she confesses everything that she had gone through and her mom held her back and cried with her. Her mom also said that if Ryle really loved her, he would not allow her to come back together. That is the true mother's love. That moment, though fictitious, engraved in my heart. Lily also had the support of Allysa, who let her know though she loved her brother, she would not either allow her to go back with Ryle; and of course, Atlas, who supported and helped her the most since they were complicated teenagers.

The more I read, the more I felt confident in "knowing" the ending: Lily would say goodbye to Atlas and move on to the same cycle her mother endured with Ryle. It was a harsh thought I did not want to believe; however, I was aware that children who lived in domestic violence homes were likely to repeat those actions. 

Cycles exist because they are excruciating to break. It takes an astronomical amount of pain and courage to disrupt a familiar pattern. Sometimes it seems easier to just keep running in the same familiar circles, rather than facing the fear of jumping and possibly not landing on your feet.

What a surprise I had when Lily did not fall back onto the vicious circle that day in her bed with Ryle. What a surprise I had when she said no. Not because I thought she was weak, in fact, she is one of the strongest women I have read about–but because the feeling of love is also strong, I knew cycles are very hard to break. And the moment right thereafter Emmy's birth which cleared up the name of the book is a line I will never forget. The moment where Lily said: "stop. It ends with us. The suffering and damage of domestic violence ends with us. You will not go through what I had to go through."

"It stops here. With me and you. It ends with us."

I think of Colleen Hoover, for being fearless enough to write a book based on the domestic abuse she saw as young as two years old and shedding light on such a difficult, violent, and real topic. I can not thank you enough for making me understand and realize. I promise to also break bonds and chains I do not feel comfortable with. I promise to help.

I think of the thousands of Lily Bloom's out there. You are strong. You are seen. I have hope in my heart that one day you end it too.